Via Guardian Unlimited

Don’t let culture be an excuse for demeaning women
Cherie Booth
Sunday October 28, 2007
The Observer

Across the world, it is women who are driving economic growth. Over the last 30 years, they have filled two out of every three new jobs. The term ‘womenomics’ has been coined to illustrate the increasing role that women are now playing, and will continue to play, in economic life.

It certainly represents what’s happening in Tanzania, where I have been meeting African businesswomen. The popular saying - ‘the African farmer and her husband’ - shows there is nothing new in the essential, if hidden, role of women in the economy. But with so many women setting up their own businesses, the motto needs updating to ‘the African entrepreneur and her mobile’.

All this could lead people to believe that the fight for women’s rights, although not won, should be subsumed into the bigger battle for human rights for everyone. After all, the denial of human rights hits both men and women.

But while both sexes suffer, it’s still women who suffer most. Two out of three children denied education are girls. Women own just 1 per cent of the world’s titled land, a fact that makes it very difficult for women entrepreneurs to get bank loans, because they have no collateral. Even in the UK, where there has been huge progress, women in full-time work still take home 83p for every pound that men get paid and the glass ceiling at the top is as unbreakable as ever.

And, importantly, these barriers and discrimination are not an accidental byproduct of gender. They exist simply because of it.

They rest on the idea, spoken or unspoken, that women are somehow not the equal of men, that their rights, views and interests don’t carry the same weight. It is this assumption that underpins and links the pay gap in developed countries, the denial in some developing countries of a woman’s right to own property, the practice of abortion or infanticide because the child is a girl, and that allows rape or honour killings to go unpunished. It is the belief that women are worth less than men.

There are those who, while appalled at such prejudice in our societies, attempt to excuse it elsewhere as a result of different cultures. They argue that it is wrong to impose our standards across the world, casting doubt on the concept of universal human rights in a world of diverse cultural and religious standards.

I believe this is both wrong and patronising. As Rosalyn Higgins, the first female judge on the International Court of Justice, noted, it’s an argument advanced by states or by liberal scholars but rarely by the oppressed groups themselves. It’s often based, too, on a false belief that the idea of universal human rights, and the UN declaration that made them concrete, is a construct of a few Western democracies foisted on a reluctant world.

The declaration was drafted, in fact, by experts from every background and improved by contributions from all the UN’s founding members from across the world. It was an express statement that the same human rights belong to each and every one of us, whatever our race, gender, religion or background.

They are a recognition of our essential dignity as human beings, something that, I would argue, has its roots deep in all our great faiths. As such, they can’t be ignored or watered down simply because of claims of cultural difference.

Of course, culture doesn’t stay the same. It is changed by law, by education and campaigning. Look at the seriousness with which our society now treats domestic violence. When I first started practising as a barrister 30 years ago, it was still very much a hidden crime. If reported to the police or courts at all, attacks by a husband on his wife were routinely treated as less serious than an assault on a stranger.

Now such cowardly behaviour is rightly seen as an aggravated offence. In the Middle East, too, the culture is slowly changing. Across the Gulf, women, with the support of men, are winning the right to vote and are increasingly filling important ministerial positions. They are also taking a bigger role in the economy.

In Tanzania and across the developing world, innovative credit schemes are springing up to tackle the reluctance of the banks to lend to women despite their better record of repaying loans than men. In Bangladesh, micro-credit schemes are also educating women about their rights and training women in the fundamentals of the Muslim law of property to help them argue their case. Economic empowerment and education are making a difference.

This is not the time to retreat from the fight for women’s equality. It’s the time, with sensitivity but also firmness, to step it up wherever we find prejudice. The prize is not just a better world for women. It is a better world for all.

· Cherie Booth QC is a human rights lawyer at Matrix chambers

第一次見面的女性，該怎樣稱呼才得體？

從來沒有男女平等，男的結婚不結婚，離婚沒離婚，從頭到尾，一句先生了事，不著半點痕跡。

女的，未婚或年青時叫作小姐，結了婚的叫太太，年紀較長而不想讓人知道仍是不是單身／離婚，叫作女士。年代再久遠一點的，特別是官方機構，已作人婦（這句也男尊女卑）的還得冠夫姓（如陳方安生、范徐麗泰），大吉利是要是走上離婚的路（也許不會怎麼大吉利是而是海闊天空），更會很著跡地要回復自我……更甚的，有些女人寧願自己的名字也不要，例如利孝和夫人。

但更討厭的還不止，我想說說”single”。

某些表格不知怎的要人寫下婚姻狀況，與single平排的那一欄，叫作「未婚」。

「未婚」這個詞，潛意識裡透露了，「婚」好像是人生的終點，又或是一個始終要經歷的里程。小時候唸天主教女校，好像記得修說過什麼七件聖事之類的事情（詳情忘了，這科我實在沒興趣唸），其中「婚」這回事是其中一項，除非選擇了當神職人員。

Single，其實是是不是只有「我身邊沒有另一個人」的意思，例如：

- 我沒有打算結婚

- 我未結婚

- 我結過婚但現在不再是已婚人

明明就是one to many的事兒，但偏偏，填表時single下面的只具「未婚」以供選擇。

我沒有什麼創意，但如果可以，我想在single旁加上「不婚」、「沒婚」的選項，起碼沒有把「婚」當成必然的終點。

好多年前有一套叫作《自梳》的電影，喜歡到不得了。

順德的媽姐養蠶取絲造紗，擁有經濟獨立的能力，在那種年代不懼社會風氣，大聲疾呼「我將會嫁給自己」，服。人家就是覺得如果嫁了比不嫁時代的生活還要差的話，憑什麼要讓我認同婚姻就是最終的站點呢？這不叫未婚，是我選擇不婚，十個勇敢。

遺憾是傳統習俗中，丫角終老而沒夫家的將成遊魂野鬼，所以還得買門口、冥婚以求一「主」，那是一個好大的諷刺，冷笑著就算是勇敢如斯，最終還不得不默認「婚」才是尾站。

表格以外，single也可說作單身／獨身，太形單隻影，太孤獨了。我有我精彩不行嗎？為什麼要人家單獨？一雙一對也不怎樣，難保一天不離婚，不保證有一天不分手。

其實都什麼年代了，什麼終站／既定模式都不再有大多數支持者的時代，single也許該有另一種詮釋，起碼不應與「未婚」或上對等。也許，婚姻狀況這個根本就不應作為需要讓第三者（特別是僱主）知道的資料，就算稅局也最好不要再設有什麼已婚人士免稅額。

都市日報（在香港地鐵各車站每早免費派發的報章）2007.7.25

作者：魏綺珊 - 曾任電視台記者及主播，現職企業傳訊。工餘最愛舞台劇，為「糊塗戲班」骨幹成員。 

http://news.readmetro.com.hk/news.php?startDate=25072007&newscat=21&newsid=47520

很多男人認為，女人很多時都心甘情願令自己受苦，例如為求看來有一雙高挑的美腿，不惜穿上幾吋高跟鞋，寧願貼上膠布，回家再浸暖水，死也不願與平底鞋結伴。

炎炎夏日上街，無論如何都要塗上化妝品，也懶理是否會令自己更加不舒服。

這些都是女士愛美的結果，是女士們自願去做，而且很樂意。可是有一些苦，卻不是女人自找來受的。

如果做問卷調查，問一下甚麼是做女人最討厭的事，相信不少人會答：月事。

男人這一輩子都無法明白，女士每個月為甚麼總會有些日子，感到暴躁不安，甚至像病了一樣沒精打采。

有一位勇敢的朋友，為了嘗試了解女士們月事的煩惱，他決定「身入險境」，也來親身感受一下。

他先向一位相熟的女性朋友，借來一片衛生巾，然後回家把它貼在內褲，他當時唯一的感覺是：好難受！他認為突然被有厚度的不明物體與肌膚相貼，除了感到很不舒服之外，簡直覺得自己不能自如地走路。

不過，他不單去適應它，還與它一同尋夢去，與它共同度過十多小時。

但他始終認為缺少了一些真實感，所以就嘗試在衛生巾上加水！為了令讀者更了解他的感受，得到他本人同意，節錄他寫的文章：「嘩！嘩！嘩！真的很難受，濕漉漉，有重量的，跟活在地獄沒有兩樣，甚麼要好的心情立時作鳥獸散，消失得無影無蹤，那有心情做甚麼工作！稍後，我再加多一次水，那就好像有塊鐵在褲襠似的，重得很兇……不斷行行企企也不是辦法，我決定坐下來。HOLY，整片濕濕的衛生巾100%貼?我，女士們，妳們是怎樣捱過的？」

最有趣的是，他不停加水後，衛生巾終於承受不住，把他的褲也弄濕……

他指出，沒法了解女人月事時不適的感覺，沒法經歷找不?洗手間的狼狽，所以自己並未能完全感受女人之苦。他在網誌的文章，得到的回應如雪片般飛至，無論男士女士，都認為不可思議，但卻又很佩服及稱讚他的勇氣，更加認為他的文章，應該給天下男士一看，還鼓勵所有男士，應該親身體驗一下，這樣男士便會更懂得關懷及體諒。

的而且確，男性女性因為生理結構不同，各有各的難言之苦，而這些苦，雙方可能一輩子都不會明白。假如大家都願意為對方?想，為對方易地而處，可能兩性之間的相處，很多問題都會迎刃而解。

男士們，你願意為你身邊的人，作出這個勇敢的嘗試嗎？”

來自 http://winking881.blogspot.com/

「單身是公害」、「剩女」該感到羞恥?
單身是發展趨勢非問題

(明報) 05月 09日 星期三 05:10AM

【明 報專訊】本世紀初興起的「第三次單身潮」現今席捲中國許多大都市，宣告「非婚時代」到來，婚姻生活已不代表主流社會存在方式。據統計部門資料顯示：目前北 京平均每個家庭的人口數已下降到2.71人。上世紀90年代受人羡慕的「單身貴族」一夜間成了流行歌曲中的「單身公害」，來源於一首流行歌曲歌詞「沒人疼 沒人愛，小心單身是公害」。

專家籲媒體勿炒作

對於都市單身女性成群現象，一些婚姻學專家認為這是一種代表人類進步的潮流 和現象。中日友好醫院心理學臨牀主任醫師、知名心理學家李子勳認為，評價一個人應該注重他的感受，比如是否自由、快樂，而不是社會價值。「剩女」們應該在 理想婚姻與現實之間找到合適的平衡點，拓展交友範圍，不可盲目降低標準，也不可對婚姻完全放棄。北京朝陽區社會婚介服務中心焦主任對記者表示，「剩女」現 象存在，但所佔社會比例並不大，媒體不應為此炒作，况且高素質「剩女」是否真的嫁不出去，她對此持表示懷疑。

—————————————————————

「單身潮」、「單身是公害」、「剩女」，幾個言簡意賅的形容詞便將單身女性的形象負面化，媒體的力量真是可怕。

人言可畏是真確的，要不為何絕大部份的女性會搶在三十歲以前結婚呢?因為害怕被人貶稱為「老古婆」而隨便找個人，也不理會雙方是否合襯的事例，我也耳聞目睹過不少。

有很多女性認為「妻子」這個社會身份非常重要，更多女性認為若不結婚產子就無法履行女性的天職，自己就不算是個女人。

擁有這樣強烈信念的女性，通常會將結婚生子作為人生目標，她們絕大部份會如願以償，在適當的時間邁進這嶄新的人生旅程。

因為她們在認清目標以後，便會依循目標去行事，像多點結識異性，或放棄可充當玩伴的男性，而認真選擇可作為丈夫的男士。

「……係囉，嗰日用tampon呢，幾鬼難拉返出嚟呀！你都試過哩？下次唔係多嗰日呢，真係咪鬼用呀……」

校服少女在火車上用手機和朋友說著月事經驗，結果惹來全車側目。

同樣的場景、同樣的在講電話、同樣的聲浪，要是談的話題是股票、是公司事務，甚至是以粗言污穢語，得到的對待肯定不會是一個難以讓人理解的注目禮。

沒錯，生於香港、長於香港的女性，大慨很少會認同月事是可以在公眾場合討論的事。

高小的時候要是在男女校，總有一次男同學和女同學分開上課的神秘經歷：大家一同回歸課室的時候，女同學每人手中各拿一袋包裝精緻，卻沒有男生份兒的小禮物。這就是香港學界中普遍的第一課性教育，由衛生用品公司主導的月事講座，聽完之後女生會收到平生第一份衛生棉試用裝。

真的到了月事來潮，我們的習慣是把用品放進一個可愛的小布袋，在沒有人看見的時候俏俏拿進洗手間。上體育課時有女同學會裝身體不舒服而坐在一旁。 家裡要是有神檯的，媽媽很早會告知：「啲嘢嚟的話，就唔好掂神檯喇，唔乾淨架。」還有……

簡單而言，我們在香港長大的女生從小到大所學所知，由社會輸送給我們的信息只有一個： 月事是不潔的，所以不應公開談論，所以我們要為這位每個月都要來一次的紅潮增添很多別名：大姨媽、親戚到、M、M come、啲嘢嚟、嗰幾日唔舒服、週期不適、女人嘢……琳瑯滿目，欠的就只欠一個堂堂正正的說法。

連這個自然的生理現像都不能談，其他應該認識的重要性知識也就更不用多想了。關於性知道得越少，對於自身的保護意識也就越薄弱，久而久之，一些女生對於怎樣保護自己也不知道，香港有不知多少女孩，就是長大了以後才知道自己原來在小時候曾經遭非禮，不得不令人慨嘆。

月事一點也不髒。如果大家能不把「她」當作不潔的事情來看，樂意在適當的場合上討論，我們知道的自然會更多，對自己的身體認識增多，自然更能認識自己、尊重自己，繼而讓別人也能更尊重我們，女性的權利才可更名正言順而不是偷偷摸摸大呼口號才能爭點回來。

延伸閱讀：《月經的管理》 ，看罷才知道內地部份廠商竟對於月事這香與生俱來的現象有這此一著。

If you know this kid, whose name is Joyce, you should know what she has been going through. Massive pressure has been pushing her to lose weight, get thin, look good etc., whereas the majority of these pressures come from the mass media.

Upon the cynical judgements and skeptical monitorings; sadly, she is born to a female celebrity, Lydia Shum, who is known to be “fat & joyous”. While Lydia’s health is deteriorating due to her fatness, we could also see the urge for her daughter to go the other end in light of these factors that justify the need to be skinny.

Her confidence was boosted when she first succeeded after the first phase of dieting in 2004. As she claims to the media that, she LOVES to see her bones under the flesh because she had never experienced it as a kid.

In my eyes, Joyce is a little over the boundary when compared with our fragile, Asian (Hong Kong) counterparts. But I assume that her foot could be right inside the BMI margin of her height, or close to that. However, it looks like negative comments still come all the way to her face because of various reasons, and many of them has to do with her background and also her look.

It looks like it is a right thing for women nowadays to pay grands to lose weight, look good, trimming this and that, or even mold their faces. The media has played a major role in legitimizing all these needs but I would talk about this issue later. Right now I would just like to focus on the impact of weight-losing since most of us have overlooked it on ones psychology, mainly on women.

A documentary worth watching, here is the promo:

For the whole film, thanks to the good of YouTube. Someone has archived it and put all of them on the site in a series of 11 cuts.

Anorexia and Bulimia have been affecting a great deal of women even if we don’t quite notice it. I personally had a Hong Kong friend of my age (back then she was merely 19), who had developed bulimia, which is categorized by binge eating and vomiting. The disorder is also known to have stormed the former Princess D., who was courage enough to admit it. Also, Karen Carpenter of The Carpenters who died of Anorexia in the early 80s.

WE ARE OBSESSED WITH THINNESS. But instead of trying to change the mainstream culture, I think we have to get equipped in dealing with the issue. DO NOT THINK THAT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS A “SLEEPING GIANT “IN HER.

Please also refer to mamaVISION.com and laurengreenfield.com for related readings.

We often use “sex” and “gender” to label the 2 different kinds of humans, i.e. female and male. But why there are two words in defining it?

Sex generally refers to the biological differences between females and males. For example, we would say “sexual difference” when we refer to differences in reproductive organs, or biological differences like  hormonal levels.

Gender generally talks about the differences between the two sexes on a cultural basis. For example, we would say “gender difference” when we refer to differences in behaviors, differences in social roles etc.

However, while some experts insist that we should differentiate the two words vividly, others propose that we should actually treat the two words as synonyms. This is based upon the belief that sex influences the shaping of gender in one while gender influences the shaping of sex in an evolutionary term.

In my opinion, since the majority have no idea about the precise definition of the two words, and have been using them interchangeably for so long; insisting to depart them is just like insisting to differentiate men and women (ha!). Why don’t we just follow the flow; there aren’t so many differences after all. Ask yourself, is men really from Mars and women are from Venus?

We are all from Earth =]

Mickey Mouse Monopoly
A VIDEO BY CHYNG SUN & MIGUEL PICKER

Walt Disney is never an unfamiliar name to most kids in Hong Kong. Upon the opening of Hong Kong Disneyland earlier in 2005, Disneyland made a great leap from a fancy dream for an average kid to an amusement park pinpointing a great deal of joy in reality. Perhaps you might not know but Disneyland has/been claimed the name of “The happiest place on Earth”. While we remain what we think clearly vigilant, stating that there is no way Disneyland could affect our perception of WHAT does it mean to be human, I think it is a good thing to acknowledge the possible risks included while we enjoy the Lion King, the Little Mermaid, and so forth.

It might sound scary when FEMINISM is mentioned on your daily routine, and many of us do not regard ourselves as FEMINISTS. However, the baseline for feminism is the idea of women having equal opportunities as men do. Dicionary.com has a collection of techinical definitions adopted from many other dictionaries available online, and I have copied them here:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source

fem·i·nism /ˈfɛməˌnɪzəm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fem-uh-niz-uhm] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

2.	(sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

[Origin: 1890–95; < F féminisme; see feminine, -ism]

—Related forms

fem·i·nist, noun, adjective

fem·i·nis·tic, adjective

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source

fem·i·nism (fěm’ə-nĭz’əm) Pronunciation Key n. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. The movement organized around this belief.

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WordNet - Cite This Source

American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition - Cite This Source
feminism

The doctrine — and the political movement based on it — that women should have the same economic, social, and political rights as men. (See under “Anthropology, Psychology, and Sociology.”)
[Chapter:] World Politics

American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition - Cite This Source
feminism

A movement for granting women political, social, and economic equality with men. (See women’s movement.)
[Chapter:] Anthropology, Psychology, and Sociology

Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary - Cite This Source Main Entry: fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: ‘fem-&-”niz-&m
Function: noun
: the presence of female characteristics in males

On-line Medical Dictionary - Cite This Source feminism

feminism: in CancerWEB’s On-line Medical Dictionary

Kernerman English Multilingual Dictionary (Beta Version) - Cite This Source
ˈfeminism noun

the thought and actions of people who want to make women’s (legal, political, social etc) rights equal to those of men

See also: feminist, femininity, feminine